The Last Mural of 2016

Here we are! The final week of 2016 and I was able to finish the female turkeys, Faith and Grace. Altogether, they only took 8 hours to complete. I’m definitely becoming faster with the paints.

Before we get into the turkey girls, I would just like to let everyone know that I have nothing really going on for January. I expect to pick up a commission in February and I have some personal work to do in the meantime but please feel free to approach me about commissions! A 9x12 sketch portrait is $40-$50 and takes 4-5 hours for me to complete. A 7’x7’ wall mural scene is estimated at around $450-$600 and takes between 30-40 hours to complete. I can also do wall panels at any size or subject, or just single subjects painted upon a wall and those things range between $100-$400. The turkey girls taking such a short amount of time are about $120 value, whereas the male turkey, having taken almost 40 hours and a much more complex subject, is valued at $600.

All wall panels no matter the size or material that you choose will be provided for free.

9”x12” pencil sketch: $40-$50

7’x7’ entire wall scene: $450-$600

Single subjects: $100-$400*

*These price estimates depend on the complexity of the subject matter. I usually keep things very realistic but even an 11”x14” panel of a super detailed subject is going to take more time and effort and cost a bit more.

✰ Alright, now that’s out of the way, on to the turkeys!

2016 Christmas Commissions

Since Christmas is over and everybody should have just about opened all their presents by now, it is time to reveal the sketches that people commissioned me for gifts. The first was by my aunt, Emily, for her girlfriend, a picture of the two of them together. She asked me to do this one all the way back in April or May and I finished it sometime in June or July. All in all, the 9x12 piece actually only took me 5 hours and 30 minutes once I sat myself down to do it. This was also my first time ever using a smudging tool, having discovered what the rolled paper stick in my pack of pencils was for, lol. It was a really sensitive tool so it took a little getting used to but for Emma’s girlfriend’s skin, I liked it a lot to achieve that smooth transition of tones.

The next one was requested by a friend of the family’s for her daughter. She asked me to do it back in October and I was right in the middle of the daycare murals. Even still, I didn’t finish this one until the 8^th of December and it took me only 4 hours. I used the smudge tool again but I’m not so sure I like the effect of it. Still, I think the piece turned out beautifully and I’m glad she really liked it.

 

I was actually surprised that I only got these two commissions for the holidays because I expected more. Partly, it makes me wonder if I’m charging too much for them but it’s also one of those things where I don’t want to lower my prices. I’m actually not particularly fond of this type of work and it is an agonizing process getting myself to just sit down and do the things. Once I do, I can get them done fairly quickly. 

Not My Disney Princesses

https://feminainvicta.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/disneyprincesses.jpg

I saw this meme recently and I got a little miffed by its message. Granted, someone told me to lighten up, that it is just a “joke” and if the joke were based on its absurdism, I would be able to laugh along with everybody else. But it’s not. It’s a feminist meme and the “joke” it is trying to make is: Disney is anti-woman and anti-feminist. And we’re all supposed to nod our heads in chuckling agreement, “That’s so true.” But all of it is based on lies. Whoever made it either seems to have never actually watched the movies or they don’t understand the nuance of social relations.

Not a lot of people understand or know the history of Disney during its Renaissance period but the company itself, despite espousing family values and wholesome messages, has always been a company with a liberal agenda. In order to change the tide of public consciousness, things have to be introduced slowly, mixed in with the already accepted status quo and that is what Disney’s Renaissance (1989-1999) was doing. I have no idea why the left has turned on them now, since it has become very trendy to tear Disney down. I guess it really is true: progressives can see rape and oppression in literally everything, including things that are actually messages from their side. So, here is my analysis and argument against this anti-Disney meme.


Jasmine: As a woman, your political worth is reduced to your marriageability.

Actually, the film argues against this idea entirely. Is it presented as the cultural norm for Jasmine’s country? Yes. However, several times the male characters are shamed by Jasmine and each other for vying over her like she's property. Even the genie tries to convince Aladdin several times to just treat her like a person as the true avenue to winning her heart. When he doesn’t and tries to go the political route, he faces misfortune when his lies are exposed, including being rebuked and humbled by Jasmine when she finds out. The one guy who sticks to his guns and tries to turn her into a political chess piece is fooled into turning himself into a genie, defeated, and mocked.

Much like Ariel who came before her, Jasmine is presented as a rebel, although without the foolhardy teenager tone nor the love-sickness that the mermaid possesses. Jasmine is adventurous, has desires separate from those around her, and is incredibly stubborn without being spoiled. We’re never tricked into dismissing her even though she gets saved several times, she shows a willingness to participate in her own rescue and the cunning to do so successfully. The ultimate choice to marry Aladdin is made by Jasmine, her opinion asked by her father, finally respecting her as a person with autonomy.


Belle: Appearances don’t matter; what counts is what’s in your heart. Unless you’re the girl.

Actually, it does matter for Belle. She is the main character, the one we identify with and the one we share a perspective with. Right from the beginning, we get to see her as more than a farm girl and the importance of ideas and thoughts are established right away. Not just from her singing longingly and excitedly about books but also from the contrasts presented by the town around her. She rebuffs the advances of the arrogant jerk in town who not only presents himself as incredibly vapid and focused on looks(in a harshly negative light) but treats her as an object as well. We empathize with Belle because we know she’s so much more. She celebrates individuality as she goes against the norm, ignoring the entire town that sings about her because they think she’s weird. Even the women who desire Gaston are presented negatively, since all three look exactly the same and focus solely on his good looks.

Belle shows us heart and courage when she goes looking for her father. She shows love and sacrifice when she takes his place in the castle. By contrast, the Beast is arrogant, abrasive, and monstrous. He doesn’t have good insides when we and Belle meet him. The story is about transformation and Belle transforms him from the inside long before he physically changes. By setting an example and demanding better treatment from him, she is able to move him from his self-loathing and pity to find love and appreciation for someone other than himself. Belle is a person worth falling in love with, and the Beast, unmoved by a pretty face, gets to see that by getting to know her. It is unlikely that one of those vapid bimbos in town would have successfully broken the curse or won his heart if they were in her place.



Ariel: It’s okay to abandon your family, drastically change your body, and give up your strongest talent in order to get your man. Once he sees your pretty face, only a witch’s spell could draw his eyes away from you.

Who makes excuses or justifications for Ariel’s sacrifice? The story actually makes her sacrifice out to be a bad thing. We the viewers are let in on the manipulation and ulterior motives of Ursula before Ariel ever meets her, getting several scenes and a song about how much hate the sea witch has for Triton and his family. The story presents Ariel as a flighty, inexperienced teenager. We know she’s constantly getting herself into trouble by the decisions she makes; the story opens with a prime example! She ditches her concert to go into dangerous waters and almost gets eaten by a shark! Right off the bat we’re told not to trust her judgements because despite being adventurous and curious, it doesn’t seem like she always knows what is really the best thing for herself.

It isn't about her sacrifice winning her Eric because he's always looking past her. The only reason Ursula wins him over, other than the spell, is because she convinces him that she is the woman who saved him from the shipwreck(the enchantment is there to keep him from asking questions). So, he's not looking at petite little Ariel as "wow, she's silent and got legs and that hits my checklist.” It's a hard decision for him to throw away his fantasy of the singing lady on the beach to go ahead and go for the budding romance right in front of him.

There is the element of love being worth giving everything for…and it is. Love is great. Love is worth taking risks and taking chances on. We know Ariel gave too much because we know the corrupted nature of the woman she’s dealing with. But love is certainly worth fighting for and making sacrifices for. Ariel almost loses herself and her love by not making the right choices; the film is a cautionary tale about being aware of yourself and not letting love completely blind you or overwhelm your good judgement.


Cinderella: If you’re beautiful enough, you may be able to escape your terrible living conditions by getting a wealthy man to fall for you.

The story is a classist tale. Cinder(shortening it because I keep accidentally typing it alla instead of ella) is a servant, taking care of her stepmother and sisters and barely treated like a human being. They make ridiculous demands of her, presented as caricatures of selfishness and vanity, whereas Cinder is presented as beautiful and genuine. Her beauty is highlighted by the contrast as her optimism in her terrible circumstances is a ray of sunshine, and she actually cares about others rather than just herself. The story is about "her night", getting to feel worthwhile for once, which is often what a night of glamor and the saying "being treated like a princess" is all about. Owning the truth that she deserved to be seen beyond the superficial standards that these other women push onto her.

The plot presents a dues ex machina in exchange for the dire situation she falls in. Tremaine gets the invite to the ball and it says "every eligible maiden" so despite her sisters mocking her and making fun of her, Cinder presents her case for why she deserves to go. Because she fits the bare minimum of humanity presented to her by this flimsy piece of paper. Tremaine tells her that if she can find a dress and get all her chores done, then she can go, much to the sisters protest. When she's gone, Tremaine makes it clear to us, the audience, that she has no intentions of keeping her promise, using sly wording to put a loophole in there for herself. She tricked Cinder.

Not only that, the story makes it clear that the sisters load her up with chores, so that she has literally 0 time to work on the bare bones dress that she set out for herself. Her friends help her with that, so that she can go because friends often help each other achieve their goals. What happens when she goes downstairs, ready to leave with the other ladies? Tremaine points out that her dress is made up of things that the sisters threw away and didn't want and they accuse her of stealing, tearing her dress to shreds to humiliate and dehumanize her. She is stripped of her humanity in that scene, not even fitting the bare minimum of humanity in being a woman and ordered to go to this thing by the king himself.

The godmother is a fantasy, a moment of escapism, where we see wish fulfillment when at our lowest point and her optimism simply cannot be jumpstarted again, that someone out there will give us everything we desire because we know we deserve it. It's god-like and she is given this opportunity when in reality, it's not an actual solution to the problem. It's for one night, a dream fulfilled, simply to give her that precious moment of dignity and humanity, to be seen as something other than the mop and broom she carries. The prince chooses her out of everyone else because of those contrasts that were laid out before as the groundwork. Her step sisters and step mother are in the crowd and fail to "wow" him, almost like he can see their ugliness inside. We root for Cinder not because she's physically beautiful but because we know that her sisters are bad people. And the climax of the film is again Tremaine trying to control her life and destiny, to lie and steal from something that Cinder has basically earned. Whether you want to believe all she did was dance with the prince and he likes her for her looks, fine, but he's now HERS. HER prince because she's the one he wants. Not her stupid step sisters.

The caricature contrasts are highlighted again as they attempt to trick the advisor into accepting one of them as the deserving ones. The scene with them trying on the shoe is over the top and ridiculous in how pathetic and desperate they are. Cinder, although saved again by her dues ex machina friends, arrives as the slipper breaks, poised, collected, calm, finally owning who she is inside. It is the allegory of the royalty of every girl, no matter her station or what the girls around her think and say. The shoe fits so she wears it, figuratively and literally.


Sleeping Beauty: Pretty girls don’t even need to be alive to get some hot princely action.

the prince in this is a little more fleshed out and he does save the princess but he doesn't like her just because she's pretty and unmoving. Aurora meets him earlier, singing with him in the woods. The film is about her waking up as a person, both in an allegorical sense and literally. She is hidden away for her entire life, shielded from experiences because her guardians think they know what's best for her. And that whole evil fairy, thing. Done up in typical fantasy fashion, the story highlights both Aurora and Phillip as protagonists equally, dreamers amidst the pressure and coddling of the authority figures around them.

Snow White: At first it may seem terrible, being so beautiful that other women get jealous enough to try to kill you. But don’t worry, once your beauty attracts a man, he'll protect you.

I've watched this movie literally twice in my life because I dislike the artwork but I agree, Snow White does cling to the traditional view of women being vulnerable and needing protection.

Perspective Shift

So much has changed in a year. There is so much about the gospel that is clear to me now that I don’t remember having a true understanding of before. This Sunday was truly impactful, in particular, with a ton of epiphanies flying open like morning glories for the sunshine. In Gospel Principles, we had a discussion about sacrifice. Nick brought up the point that the reason people sacrificed animals before Christ came was for repentance. I always had a concept of animal sacrifice as a “tithing” thing but it suddenly made a light turn on for me when Nick said that; before the Atonement, how could people repent of their sins? They had to make the blood sacrifice with the firstborn, unblemished male of the flock, in similitude with Christ and his sacrifice for us because it hadn’t happened yet.

Then uncle David brought up how we have to have a broken heart and contrite spirit, the willingness to give everything to the Lord. Elder Richardson built upon that point as the discussion developed, saying that the motivating factor for our sacrifices for the Lord should be love. Then it clicked, like the link on a bracelet band being snapped closed. I remembered the stuff they were saying about service this month and the #LighttheWorld initiative, how we are supposed to be emulating Christ by these acts of service all month long. So, we follow his example to become more like him. But then I remembered that verse, Matthew 25:40:

40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

In giving service to others…we serve Christ. They, like the sacrament represents his atoning sacrifice, represent Him as we help the needy and the poor in spirit. So, not only do we become like the Savior when we do service but it is as if we directly serve Him and His will by doing service. In a circle it goes, tying everything together. I never understood service in this way before.

Another thing, I have become acutely aware of my status as a daughter. One of the young women got baptized today, someone who has been waiting a long time due to hard circumstances. They passed around note cards for her on which we were supposed to write about our own baptisms for her to have something inspiring to read whenever times were tough. I realized, I do not remember my baptism, so, I searched myself for something that might help her and might have helped me when things were starting to fade in importance. What I grasped upon was how we are children, we are daughters.

When I was younger, I wasn’t so dedicated as to aspire for missionary service but I loved the church. I went to seminary, I got married in the temple, and I had a calling in the church. I remember being adamant that I’d never fall away; I couldn’t conceive of it happening or what would be a worthwhile temptation strong enough to draw me away. I knew the truth, it made logical “sense” to me, and that was enough.

I have always had trouble keeping up with daily prayer and scripture study. I especially had trouble with the social aspects of church back then, from my teen years forward. Turns out, you can be inactive, not keeping the Word of Wisdom, nor your covenants and still argue with people online about basic church doctrine. “Knowing the truth” doesn’t do a whole lot of good without the repetition and keeping up with the gospel principles. It feels like I was foolish, arrogant, and vain back then, not understanding the way things creep in, the way justifications are made for progressively more and more aspects of your life until you are wandering in the mists, unable to see the iron rod any longer.

Despite the mantras of Young Womens programs, I don’t remember really “getting” the daughter aspect of myself. It’s like a word that you say to refer to an object over and over, without really picking it apart or understanding that it’s not just a “name” for this thing but a word with a specific design and purpose for its usage.

How apt “daughter” is, I now realize! Having gone through my rebellious phase, finding my Father’s rules too strict and confining, not realizing as I explored my perceived freedom that they were put there for my safety and well-being, my ultimate happiness, until it was too late. Finding my life unhappy and blaming my Father for His too-high expectations and “demands” of my life. Then feeling too ashamed and guilty for how I’d failed Him to come home or face His disappointment and judgement.

And finally…calling upon my Father for help, kneeling with head bowed at His feet, broken hearted and humbled, feeling His loving embrace around me through the Spirit. It is one thing I remind myself of whenever I get to feeling insecure about my efforts. I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father, I tell myself. It helps me feel good about what efforts I am able to put forth. It helps remind me to do the things I should, even when they are difficult.

It helps me remember, when bad things happen, or misfortune befalls me, that He’s not a wicked gambler rolling the dice in some game against the Devil, nor a sadistic child pouring water over an anthill. He knows me specifically and He has a plan for me. I’m not being punished but these changes, although felt for their negative impact, are course corrections. I often wonder if there is more I could be doing; is this a humbling experience? Have I forgotten to stay true to my promises? Where is my heart right now and does it need a course correction? And after that self-examination and self-correction, I walk forward, knowing that whatever happens next is what He intends for me.

Not only have these new enlightenments changed my perspective but also my desire for the gospel in my life. Whereas before, I relied on testimony as a candle flame held aloft in a windy storm, somehow confident despite my lack of strengthening it, that Heavenly Father would not let it blow out. Now I find myself vigilant, feeding that internal campfire every time I see it shrink even a little bit. Because I know how it feels when it goes out. I know how it feels to be the daughter who tells herself that she can’t call home because there’s no one there who wants to hear from her.