If you know what the missing word from the title
is, then you probably know where I am going with this. Over the past couple of
months, I’ve made several entries covering my progression towards an
understanding of the concept of “Christlike love.” In actual practice…well, let’s
just say it’s easier to talk about
it. Especially when it comes to people who hurt us. We’re brought up with ideas
about “defending yourself(physically)” that put exemptions and justifications
on how far “love one another” can extend before we can ditch it and solve
things with our angry words and our fists. It is a hard thing to overcome in
social situations, even when nothing physical is happening, we feel entitled to
make judgements about what others deserve based upon how they treat us. It
feels fair and just.
As I have said before, my family is suffering
through a contentious situation with some other people right now. I wanted to
make this entry to talk about the emotional struggle I’ve been going through in
this situation and the promptings I have received, the personal revelation I
have received, that has helped me find the way that I must go.
Recently, I had opportunity to visit with these
people in a calm situation and found myself confronted with another great truth
I know: we are all children of God. It is so hard, when someone is being
threatening or hurtful to you, to stop and look at them the way that Heavenly
Father does. To know that you’re not special or isolated in Heavenly Father’s
love for you, but that other people are His children as well and He wishes for
their everlasting joy just as deeply as He does for you.
I thought of giving them a gift as an outward
expression of love. It’s really scary because another thing I have been taught
is to not be weak, to not be vulnerable because people take advantage of that.
I admit, I am a naïve person. I don’t have a whole lot of worldly experience
and I’ve lived a comfortable life. So, I am wary of opening up too much, of
what someone might take from me and hurt me with if I were to expose myself in
such a way. So, I doubted. It sounds stupid, doesn’t it? “All we need is love,
you guys! Aw, group hug! All better!” It sounds like a foolish and immature
thing to say. A solution thought up by a child who does not yet understand the
complexity of the world.
I put together a gift anyway, using the excuse
of, coincidentally, a holiday for celebrating and expressing love. Yet, I still
flip flopped and had doubts about whether I was being foolish or not. I’m
writing this before I have seen the end result of this situation: the gift has
not yet been given. I thought that was important because it’s not like I’m
coming to you with 100% knowledge of the fruits of this being successful. “Love
works you guys!” All I know is what I feel in my heart, an understanding that
this is what I am meant to do and…this is what these people need from me. When
I knelt in prayer last September, I did so in helplessness, feeling that there
was nothing I could personally do to help my family or make the situation
better. I needed God’s help and presence in my life.
My personal revelation often comes by way of
people talking to me, saying things they may or may not know was important, or
reading things that were exactly what I needed to hear to fit that last puzzle
piece. I like to read the Ensign but it’s my brother, Ben’s, subscription and
he has a small stash of the magazines going back a couple years. The ones he
loaned to me were the April 2015 edition and November 2015(General Conference
Addresses). Not current so, it’s not like this is a theme that everyone else is
currently listening to. This is something I stumbled onto.
I read these magazines cover to cover and I got a
lot of good things from them. In his talk “It Works Wonderfully!” President
Dieter F. Uchtdorf said,
“Sometimes, the truth may just seem too
straightforward, too plain, and too simple for us to fully appreciate its great
value. So, we set aside what we have experienced and know to be true in pursuit
of more mysterious or complicated information. Hopefully we will learn that
when we chase after shadows, we are pursuing matters that have little substance
and value.”
I think that the simplicity of my prompting is
actually the key to its truthfulness. Much like when Christ taught the new law
to his disciples, how he cut through the complexity of the oral traditions and
the old law with plain and simple truths. “All we need is love” might seem like
a useless, childish platitude but there is actual science backing up how we
react differently when people approach us with kindness. Our Lord may have
programmed the natural man to be defensive towards threats but He also
programmed us to respond positively to positive social cues.
In his talk “Pure Religion” Elder W. Christopher
Waddell said something that really struck me as key to my personal situation.
“We may see needs around us but feel inadequate
to respond, assuming that what we have to offer is not sufficient. As we seek
to become even as He is and as we see needs in our fellow travelers through
spiritual eyes, we must trust that the Lord can work through us, and then we
must act.”
Faith without works is dead. That isn’t just a
conditional thing but a literal, logical progression of fixing a problem;
often, we are the tools Heavenly Father needs to solve our problems. He cannot
use a tool that doesn’t move where it is supposed to go. I have been thinking a
lot about the pain and sorrow these people carry, where their defensiveness and
insecurities come from, and who they have in their corner to ease their
troubles. Heavenly Father cannot just bust down a door unless someone lets Him
in. How then does He reach those in need? Through me, someone else can feel His
love for them, the way that I have from my relatives these past few months.
Someone I don’t mention a lot on this blog but who
has been instrumental to my growth as a person these past several months, is my
grandmother, Skipper. Every one of these entries started as impressions and
feelings that I talked to her about, questions I had, struggles I’ve been
having. She has been my confidante, my friend, my guide, and my example. I know
everybody says their grandma is great but if only you knew! My grandmother has
lived an amazing life full of love and adventure. She is the sweetest, softest
person I know and yet she can command a room with her gentle, loving presence.
People seek her out, desire to be close to her, even those who she has just
met. And she is amazing with service. Like my aunt Laurie, sometimes she just
buys things, not for herself, not with any one particular person in mind but in
preparation for opportunities to give a gift to someone in need. I am
constantly floored by the way she uses her talents to make Relief Society
activities amazing. Those small, crafty touches that she personally goes out of
her way to create, to make an activity fun and fulfilling for the other women
in our branch. And she is always so willing to give.
When I first started going back to church, my
grandmother gave me nice clothes to wear and gave me rides to church. Every
Saturday she packs us a lunch to eat on the ride home from church. She has
given me small gifts to just show me how much she loves me and her and my
grandfather often have evenings where we spend time together enjoying each
others company. I see my grandmother exhibiting Christlike attributes, things
that I admire and wish to emulate. I want to be soft and gentle and yet still
so impactful on people’s lives that they feel boosted by my presence. And it
begins now. I’ve been praying for opportunities for service and it is not up to
me to pick and choose who is worthy of my love when the time arises. I can’t “sideswipe”
an opportunity presented to me by my Heavenly Father. If I see a need, I must
act. I know how I felt, how sometimes I feel when I am scared, hurt, or
insecure. I know how it feels to have someone there, willing to listen, to give
me nice things to make me feel beautiful and loved, to offer kind guidance when
I have been lost or uncertain.
I don’t know how things will turn out but I trust
my Heavenly Father. I’m reading Fishers of Men by Lund right now and just last
night I read the part where the characters in the book attend Jesus’s sermon on
the mount(Matthew 5).
38 ¶Ye
have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but
whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take
away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.
41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go
with him twain.
42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that
would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
43 ¶Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt
love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44 But
I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them
that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is
in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and
sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have
ye? do not even the publicans the same?
When it got to this part in the book(of course, a
novelized version of this), I felt like it was further confirmation for me to
continue on this path. These aren’t coincidences but things happening when they
need to happen, my heart and mind led by the Spirit to find these things that I
need to hear and see right now. Without even knowing how things will turn out,
I bear you my testimony that I know love for our fellows is how we show and
express our love for God, that in helping those in need as I have been helped,
I am doing my Father’s work and obeying His will. I leave this with you with
the lyrics to “Love One Another.”
By
this shall men know, ye are my disciples
If
you have love, one to another.
