____ Your Enemies

If you know what the missing word from the title is, then you probably know where I am going with this. Over the past couple of months, I’ve made several entries covering my progression towards an understanding of the concept of “Christlike love.” In actual practice…well, let’s just say it’s easier to talk about it. Especially when it comes to people who hurt us. We’re brought up with ideas about “defending yourself(physically)” that put exemptions and justifications on how far “love one another” can extend before we can ditch it and solve things with our angry words and our fists. It is a hard thing to overcome in social situations, even when nothing physical is happening, we feel entitled to make judgements about what others deserve based upon how they treat us. It feels fair and just.

As I have said before, my family is suffering through a contentious situation with some other people right now. I wanted to make this entry to talk about the emotional struggle I’ve been going through in this situation and the promptings I have received, the personal revelation I have received, that has helped me find the way that I must go.

Recently, I had opportunity to visit with these people in a calm situation and found myself confronted with another great truth I know: we are all children of God. It is so hard, when someone is being threatening or hurtful to you, to stop and look at them the way that Heavenly Father does. To know that you’re not special or isolated in Heavenly Father’s love for you, but that other people are His children as well and He wishes for their everlasting joy just as deeply as He does for you.

I thought of giving them a gift as an outward expression of love. It’s really scary because another thing I have been taught is to not be weak, to not be vulnerable because people take advantage of that. I admit, I am a naïve person. I don’t have a whole lot of worldly experience and I’ve lived a comfortable life. So, I am wary of opening up too much, of what someone might take from me and hurt me with if I were to expose myself in such a way. So, I doubted. It sounds stupid, doesn’t it? “All we need is love, you guys! Aw, group hug! All better!” It sounds like a foolish and immature thing to say. A solution thought up by a child who does not yet understand the complexity of the world.

I put together a gift anyway, using the excuse of, coincidentally, a holiday for celebrating and expressing love. Yet, I still flip flopped and had doubts about whether I was being foolish or not. I’m writing this before I have seen the end result of this situation: the gift has not yet been given. I thought that was important because it’s not like I’m coming to you with 100% knowledge of the fruits of this being successful. “Love works you guys!” All I know is what I feel in my heart, an understanding that this is what I am meant to do and…this is what these people need from me. When I knelt in prayer last September, I did so in helplessness, feeling that there was nothing I could personally do to help my family or make the situation better. I needed God’s help and presence in my life.

My personal revelation often comes by way of people talking to me, saying things they may or may not know was important, or reading things that were exactly what I needed to hear to fit that last puzzle piece. I like to read the Ensign but it’s my brother, Ben’s, subscription and he has a small stash of the magazines going back a couple years. The ones he loaned to me were the April 2015 edition and November 2015(General Conference Addresses). Not current so, it’s not like this is a theme that everyone else is currently listening to. This is something I stumbled onto.

I read these magazines cover to cover and I got a lot of good things from them. In his talk “It Works Wonderfully!” President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said,

“Sometimes, the truth may just seem too straightforward, too plain, and too simple for us to fully appreciate its great value. So, we set aside what we have experienced and know to be true in pursuit of more mysterious or complicated information. Hopefully we will learn that when we chase after shadows, we are pursuing matters that have little substance and value.”

I think that the simplicity of my prompting is actually the key to its truthfulness. Much like when Christ taught the new law to his disciples, how he cut through the complexity of the oral traditions and the old law with plain and simple truths. “All we need is love” might seem like a useless, childish platitude but there is actual science backing up how we react differently when people approach us with kindness. Our Lord may have programmed the natural man to be defensive towards threats but He also programmed us to respond positively to positive social cues.

In his talk “Pure Religion” Elder W. Christopher Waddell said something that really struck me as key to my personal situation.

“We may see needs around us but feel inadequate to respond, assuming that what we have to offer is not sufficient. As we seek to become even as He is and as we see needs in our fellow travelers through spiritual eyes, we must trust that the Lord can work through us, and then we must act.”

Faith without works is dead. That isn’t just a conditional thing but a literal, logical progression of fixing a problem; often, we are the tools Heavenly Father needs to solve our problems. He cannot use a tool that doesn’t move where it is supposed to go. I have been thinking a lot about the pain and sorrow these people carry, where their defensiveness and insecurities come from, and who they have in their corner to ease their troubles. Heavenly Father cannot just bust down a door unless someone lets Him in. How then does He reach those in need? Through me, someone else can feel His love for them, the way that I have from my relatives these past few months.

Someone I don’t mention a lot on this blog but who has been instrumental to my growth as a person these past several months, is my grandmother, Skipper. Every one of these entries started as impressions and feelings that I talked to her about, questions I had, struggles I’ve been having. She has been my confidante, my friend, my guide, and my example. I know everybody says their grandma is great but if only you knew! My grandmother has lived an amazing life full of love and adventure. She is the sweetest, softest person I know and yet she can command a room with her gentle, loving presence. People seek her out, desire to be close to her, even those who she has just met. And she is amazing with service. Like my aunt Laurie, sometimes she just buys things, not for herself, not with any one particular person in mind but in preparation for opportunities to give a gift to someone in need. I am constantly floored by the way she uses her talents to make Relief Society activities amazing. Those small, crafty touches that she personally goes out of her way to create, to make an activity fun and fulfilling for the other women in our branch. And she is always so willing to give.

When I first started going back to church, my grandmother gave me nice clothes to wear and gave me rides to church. Every Saturday she packs us a lunch to eat on the ride home from church. She has given me small gifts to just show me how much she loves me and her and my grandfather often have evenings where we spend time together enjoying each others company. I see my grandmother exhibiting Christlike attributes, things that I admire and wish to emulate. I want to be soft and gentle and yet still so impactful on people’s lives that they feel boosted by my presence. And it begins now. I’ve been praying for opportunities for service and it is not up to me to pick and choose who is worthy of my love when the time arises. I can’t “sideswipe” an opportunity presented to me by my Heavenly Father. If I see a need, I must act. I know how I felt, how sometimes I feel when I am scared, hurt, or insecure. I know how it feels to have someone there, willing to listen, to give me nice things to make me feel beautiful and loved, to offer kind guidance when I have been lost or uncertain.

I don’t know how things will turn out but I trust my Heavenly Father. I’m reading Fishers of Men by Lund right now and just last night I read the part where the characters in the book attend Jesus’s sermon on the mount(Matthew 5).

38 ¶Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:

 39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

 40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.

 41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.

 42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.

 43 ¶Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

 46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?

When it got to this part in the book(of course, a novelized version of this), I felt like it was further confirmation for me to continue on this path. These aren’t coincidences but things happening when they need to happen, my heart and mind led by the Spirit to find these things that I need to hear and see right now. Without even knowing how things will turn out, I bear you my testimony that I know love for our fellows is how we show and express our love for God, that in helping those in need as I have been helped, I am doing my Father’s work and obeying His will. I leave this with you with the lyrics to “Love One Another.”

By this shall men know, ye are my disciples

If you have love, one to another.